I Am Me

I woke up this morning and have stayed in by bed for over an hour. The blinds are closed, the lights are off and there is not a single noise in the house except for the humming of the air conditioner. I am in a small room. The bed is as old as me and there are books everywhere. I am living here temporarily and my possessions look like vines slowly taking over the walls and empty spaces that were there before I arrived. I have very little really. Clothes, books, guitars and some golf clubs that a good friend of mine gave to me that are in desperate need of cleaning. I've thought of selling one of the guitars....I need the money.

I woke up this morning and have stayed in my bed for over an hour. My mind is wide awake, wandering in the deep recesses of my heart. Mornings like these can scare me. It's like going into a dark attic after watching a scary movie. I don't want to think about what I'll find in the corners but I can't seem to keep myself from straying to far. So I let it happen. 

I woke up this morning and have stayed in my bed for over an hour. I am remembering a Psalm that I have been reading this week. It says something about God having formed me in my mothers womb, how he knit together my soul and knows the words I will say before I say them and the thoughts I will have before I think them. It goes on to say that there isn't a place I can go to escape his spirit. If I went into outer space, he'd be there, if I fled to the center of the earth he'd be there, if I tried to sail to the middle of the ocean where there is nothing but water and air, he would still be there. Not only would he be there, but it continues with the line "Your right hand would still be upon me." I think that means he loves me and accepts me unconditionally.

I woke up this morning and have stayed in my bed for over an hour, but I think it is time to get up.